Day 27 - Future Projection in relation to a person's attitude and value

I have had many encounters in my life with people which I judged simply because of a 'feeling' I had, and in the end it turned out that I was totally wrong. This can be a 'positive' as well as a 'negative' judgement, doesn't matter. Important is the trust in my own feelings, and the question why I prefered to trust and follow my intentional feeling instead of bringing myself here, back to the actuality of the living moment and see that human being, deal with the situation as it appears from the starting point of the equality of all life.

Wat does it mean to follow one's intentions and feelings and where do they come from? Why do I see someone, his/her behaviour, clothing, face, gestures etc. and have hundreds of assumptions about the quality of that person in my mind?

It must have to do with experience and comparism with past experiences. But why is it necessary at all to judge other people? In every attempt to judge aother person seems to be the intention to predict his/her reactions, to predict his/her behaviour in order to calculate the outcome for yourself on your way and search for personal fulfillment. But when you look at it it is ovbvious that when you ask yourself this question, in self honesty and seriously, you will have to question all your experiences and espacially the feelings and judgements you have linked to them as well, because they may be based on assumptions, based on feelings and intentions as preoccupied judgements created by the same delusional ideas of how you would be judged and how your calculated behaviour has been taken into consideration by others in order to predict you.

So where did it all start? Where did the experience begin as an uncovered, uncolored, 'innocent' perception? Has it ever been that way? And: if one is not able to trace back this path of self deception, does any judgement, any intention and feeling of that person ever really matter? Has it any value at all and isn't it quite irresponsible to follow one's intentions, feelings, wishes, desires unquestioned when they derive from mysterious, unclear, occult subconscious patterns that you don't have any control of?

What do humans belief in when it comes to their intentions, wishes, desires, feelings? They seem to belief that this is what they are. This is what makes them a person. The personal attitudes, the personal characteristics which consist of preferences, desires, ideologies that are in the most cases not well elaborated, partly copied, partly mystified, occult and in their executive operations adjusted according to one's own personal agenda. But they are operating in all of us, most of the time hey operate in the dark, without us knowing or asking 'why' do I want this or try to avoid another thing/experience/feeling. And what am I willing to do in order to get what I desire?

When a human being identifies with these programs and patterns, existing in the belief that these things are the only means of their existance, than they will see every attempt to reach out for this particular fulfillment as an act of survival, which generally justifies all kinds of abusive behaviour, because it is for the sake of your own life.

But there are many human beings, and there have been over the ages that clearly saw the deception behind this self identification as the mind. They show and showed as an example taht it is deceptive in many ways, leads to harmful beahviour, self destruction and the ruthless exploitation of other life forms. And in the end the results as the consequences don't serve anyone but the momentary lapse of reason called 'personal satisfaction' or 'personal fulfillment'.

What is left of us, if we start to see our emotional body, our ideals about our Self as merely a conglomeration of blurred memories, judgements made in a long passed context, living every day trying to adjust the actaul settings of life to the fuzzy images created by thoughts of our past?

What is given up when we reject our self identification with this imaginary reality and begin to live here, in every moment, for the first time using our human abilities like reason, awareness, intellect in a spontaneous way from the starting point of Life, from the platform of 'Now'? Do we dare to make this decision to identify with the living moment of breath? Is it a risk if we give up an illusion for the presence of reality? And will we in this moment realize ourselves as Life, here, one and equal and together with all Life? Can we then still deny the obvious truth of our equality as Life? Or is it exactly that what we are afraid of, and isn't it logic and 'natural' for an unreal entity like the Ego-personality to fear that moment of clarity? Obviously it is, because it will be the end of it's importance, the end of it's pole position in the decision making and alignment of a human Life.

But it will be replaced by what ist left, by Life itself. Because obviously the loss of the Ego does not mean the death of the body. The body, the living physical organism is that what is left when everything that is dispensable, everything that has been exposed as not true, as decptive and unreal has been taken away. The physical body can't be taken away, it is not that simple, it can be destroyed, scattered, processed, but the physical will remain, and the majority of it, if not all of it will remain aLife.

So if there is anything in this world that would be worth to fight for, to die for, to stand for, it is that what equals all of us: Life. But within the realization of the oneness and equality of all Life it would be against any common sense to kill or fight for life, if it was not necessairy following the principles of the physical manifestations of Life which process and digest physical material in order to survive.

But to fight, kill and die for ideas of self identifications, like nationality, religion, beliefs, Money, and the superficial delusion of superiority that any of those idealisms inherit, is absolute nonsense from the startingpoint of a reasonable, intelligent, thinking human being. All this is only possible because of the seductive thought concepts and programs that people infiltrate into each others minds, and allow into their own thoughts, that only serve the purpose of control, of power over the many, to dumb down and sedate human consciousness and make it the primarity rule to follow this addicted maniac called 'Me', 'Myself' and 'I'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put the value of my self identification as my memories, my past experiences and judgements above the value of Life and tried over years to fulfill expectations based on thoughts and ideas created by my personality system of the mind in my life, to make my fantasies reality regardless of the rights an desires of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I would loose something valuable and essential if I give up my identifications and images about myself as a personality, even if those identification patterns were a burdon and hindrance for me to develop in Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within this realization of the futility of my past memoy-identification and the useless strive for personal fulfillment as energy hypes which are all just a quick fix giving the assumption of a happy living moment but are nothing but a waste of m oments, because you are following ghosts, fooling yourself and missing the living moment, with frustration, rebellion and rejection, thus with separation and through that brought myself into a situation of hopeless entrapment within the mind while I actually tried to escape the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put myself in separation to other people by judging them within my so called realization of the irreality of people's identities and the futile struggle to protect those useless and harmful thought constructs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to see the irresponsible act within separation and blame, within the rejection of my responsibility for what is here as the system that we all have accepted and allowed and that we can only through self responsible self change and equal, unconditional support change our perception, our self identification and open the eyes to see that there actually are alternative ways of human living, human society, culture and organisation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my self interst in self protection of my ego from realizing my self responsibility in life and the useless attemot to blame others for my own situation or the situation of the human world in general.

I commit myself to walk the process of self realization in self honesty, self forgiveness and self corrective statements no matter what challenge may come in relation to my mind as the ego and to the outer systems as a projection and manifestation of my fears and judgements.

I commit myself to stop myself from judging other people according to my perception of their personality, preferences, thoughts and desires, because I clearly realize the patterns as the same thought structures that I know from my own learned self identification and that in judging others I give myself permission to accept and allow this identification as the thoughts/memories/ideals to become my starting point of interaction and that this is an acceptance and allowance of my own self delusion through blindly following conditionings and programs imprinted within my mind through education, culture, experiences and environment, ignoring the consequences as a manifestation of our systems and the generation of artificial values that do all serve the purpose of keeping people locked up in their minds without self direction and self determination, while their lifes continue to create all kinds of abuse, exploitation and suffering.

I commit myself to stand the test of our own created system that is going to push all the trigger points that lead to self entrapment within the mind through separation and ideological daydreaming about how the world could be when/if those 'other' people would change instead of realizing that the only change possible is the change that you have control on, and that ist the change of your own self through deconstructing yourself through self honesty and self forgiveness and realign yourself along the principles of life and what is best for all life, which of course is best for you as Life.

I commit myself to stop myself from following any thought of judgement, whether the judgement of another person or myself, and I commit myself to stop myself and bring myself back to te awareness of the moment of breath, alive, here, considering the realizations and breathing through the patterns and reactions that come up within myself so that I can purify myself from these automated reaction that determines my behaviour, my actions and therefore my life, so that I will be able to become the master of my own life and that I am the decision maker in every moment that will have to stand for what he represents and has accepted the responsibility for all the consequences that his actions may have.